i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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