do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is the high leading the old right now
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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