you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The ass gains better be worth it
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