Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
