1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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