Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
