he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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