so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is Oprah even human
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize