I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
