If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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