C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
