I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
