We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
