guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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