Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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