so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
