Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
