I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
