he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
