I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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