pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
NoShamevember. You game?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
