how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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