don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
whose parrot is this?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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