i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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