Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
