he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize