Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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