ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
