my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
