As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
