The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
