Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
