If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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