My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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