I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish I could teleport
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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