Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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