Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
