I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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