its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
