i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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