Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
