Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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