I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
