my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
