sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
