I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
