This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
