Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
