can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
