My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
