Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
