Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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