I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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