Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
