Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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