Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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