you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
