Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
