and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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