True but thats because hes a fetus.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
