Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
