He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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