ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Text me some of your sweat
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
