Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This house was built for laser tag.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
