Umm I'm too high to move.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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